we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
