the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
