even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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