never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
