nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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