It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
