i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
