lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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