I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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