i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
