I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize