I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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