u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
