Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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