Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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