Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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