my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize