Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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