Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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