and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Randomize
