Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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