I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
