Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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