I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
