i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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