I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
