its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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