Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
