don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
