Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
