that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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