honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry about my life...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
