I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
