I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This is my gift to your gina
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
