You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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