You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
