Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
