the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
