the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
