I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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