Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
