look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize