I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
