I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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