I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Someone shattered a urinal.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
