I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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