Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
