id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
