worst night to have a conscience
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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