Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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