I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
