I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
