From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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