its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
