One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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