wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
