Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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