I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Damn victory sex feels great
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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