I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he quoted the bible to break up with me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
