My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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