omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
