I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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